Should we be hugging dogs?

a lady hugging a dog

Should I hug my dog?

After a really long and difficult day at work, all you want is a hug from your pup. Should we be hugging dogs? What do you do if your dog doesn’t like to be cuddled? This can be a difficult thing for us to accept. After all, humans use touch to communicate a lot of our needs, especially affection. Hugging someone we love can be one of the most wonderful feelings in the world. We may want to show our dogs how much we love them by giving them a great big hug. If we’re feeling down, there is nothing better than snuggling into our furry friends.

However, hugging, touching, holding, or picking up a dog that doesn’t want to be touched can lead to trust issues between you and your dog, or can at worst, give your dog no other option but to force you to give him space. And, this could be in the form of a growl, lunge, or even bite.

The hard truth is that most dogs don’t like being held, picked up, or hugged. Does that mean we shouldn’t be hugging dogs? Some dogs may enjoy being touched gently, but many won’t want to be restricted in a cuddle or hug. Think about when you take your dog for his vaccinations or a nail trim-you most probably hold him down or keep him close to you to ease the process. It’s easy to see why dogs may not love being held. We’ll talk more later about why your dog may not enjoy being hugged.

 

We want to make sure we are giving our dogs choices in life. By allowing our dog to choose whether he wants to do something or not, we are building our dog’s confidence, as well as developing a loving and trusting relationship and bond between us and our dog. Your dog knows that you will never force him to do something that he feels uncomfortable with or unsafe about.

Lady touching a dog

Not all dogs like being hugged, held, lifted, or touched

The truth is, not all dogs like to be held. Some dogs don’t even like to be touched. This may be a hard truth for some, but it is good to know. Understanding your dog’s likes, dislikes, needs, and wants can help strengthen the bond between you and your dog. There are several reasons your dog may not enjoy being cuddled or held.

  1. Past traumatic experiences:

If you find your dog cringes every time you reach out for him, you may find someone may have picked up him and hurt him in the past. Perhaps you adopted your dog from a rescue centre, and you don’t know what his past was like. It is possible he was hurt or injured as a puppy while being touched or picked up and he has developed a fear of touch. Perhaps he was from an abusive household where he was physically hurt. Or, he may never been touched or held. All these situations could cause your dog to be fearful or uncomfortable with hugging, cuddling, or touching.

  1. Breed type

Your dog’s breed is going to have various influences on his behaviour and preferences. For example, dogs that have been bred over hundreds of years as companion animals may be more likely to tolerate or even enjoy physical touch by humans. If a dog has been bred to be friendly, social, or affectionate with humans, there is a chance that that dog will be more likely to enjoy touching or hugging.

  1. Individual preferences

Like humans, dogs have their own individual personalities, preferences, and needs. Some dogs may seek out cuddles and hugs, while others may even be fearful of simply being touched. Understanding your dog’s preferences, likes, and dislikes is so important in developing a trusting and comfortable relationship with him. Carefully watch your dog’s body language when you touch him. Does he appear comfortable with the interaction? Does he enjoy the physical contact or is he merely tolerating it? Never force your dog to do something he doesn’t want to do. Respect your dog’s individual preferences and personality.

  1. Health issues

If your dog has underlying health issues or is in pain or discomfort, he will be less tolerant of touching or hugging. A dog that is in pain is going to resist any physical contact with you. If your dog suddenly stops enjoying physical contact, consider that he might be in pain or ill and get him to the vet as soon as you can. Also, some dogs may just be more sensitive to touch than others and hugging could be overwhelming for them.

  1. Lack of socialisation

If your dog is not used to hugging or touching, he may not understand what purpose a hug serves. He may not know what you are trying to communicate through a hug or any other type of touch. If you’ve ever spent some time watching dogs interacting with one another it is unlikely that you have ever seen dogs hug each other or pick each other up! Simply put, your dog may not have a reference for the purpose of a hug, so because he doesn’t understand it, it may make him uncomfortable.   

  1. Biological history

Remember, dogs are animals. They have thousands of years of evolutionary history that play an important part in how they behave. Dogs may not enjoy or tolerate hugs because it is physically restrictive to them. If they were ‘in the wild’, being restricted, trapped, or caught by other predators would mean certain injury or even death. That means that hugging dogs may make them worried about being hurt or injured, and they may feel prevented from escaping potential danger.   

Regardless of your dog’s breed, background, temperament, and personality, it is always important to respect a dog’s individual preferences. Just because your dog is a pure-bred ‘lap dog’ like a pug or labrador doesn’t mean he will enjoy being cuddled. Just because we can hug dogs doesn’t mean we should be hugging dogs!

man hugging a dog

How do I know if my dog likes to be touched or held?

It can be hard to hear that your dog doesn’t like to be cuddled or touched. It’s even worse to be told we shouldn’t be hugging dogs! The best way to know if your dog will enjoy physical contact with you is to test it out. There is a way to safely and ethically check if your dog enjoys touch. This test is called ‘the three-second rule’. The three-second rule is a great way to find out what your dog likes or doesn’t like and can be applied to many different situations. However, here we can use it to find out if your dog likes physical touch, hugging, or cuddling. We can even use it to find out what type of touch your dog enjoys. The concept behind this test is simple: by using the three-second rule, you are giving your dog a choice and allowing him to consent to touch.

So, how does it work?
  1. To start, sit quietly with your dog, preferably somewhere calm and free of distractions.
  2. Give your dog the space to leave or move away if he wants to.
  3. Hold your hand out with your palms down and your fingers tucked in and allow him to sniff your hand.
  4. If he comes closer to you, try gently and softly tickling him under his chin or on his chest. Count to three, slowly and to yourself. Then, remove your hand.
  5. If your dog moves closer to you, pushes up against your hand, or leans into you, there is a chance he wants you to continue to touch him.
  6. Pay close attention to his body language as you continue touching him. Check that your dog is relaxed and content.
  7. Repeat until your dog is done with the activity.

If you practise this technique regularly (and only when your dog is comfortable), your dog will learn that you only touch him when he wants you to, and only in the way he is comfortable with. You may find, after time, that he will actively come asking for gentle touching.

dog sniffing a lady's hand

Signs that my dog is happy to be touched

Look closely at your dog while you are touching or stroking him. The following body language usually tells you your dog is comfortable and at ease:

  • Soft eyes
  • Closed eyes
  • A relaxed, soft body
  • A soft, slightly open mouth
  • Soft, relaxed ears
  • Loose, relaxed, slow tail wags
These types of body language may suggest your dog is uncomfortable:
  • Yawning
  • Showing the whites of his eye (whale eye)
  • Tense, pulled back lips
  • Looking away
  • Licking his lips
  • Tense ears
  • Tense bodies
  • Wagging the tip of his tail only
  • Scratching
  • Growling
  • Snapping

Your dog may roll over onto his back and show his tummy. Be careful with this behaviour as it could mean two things. It may mean he wants you to continue tickling his tummy. In this case, you should be able to tell he is feeling relaxed by looking at his overall posture (check the signs above). However, he may also be feeling very uncomfortable and could be showing you that he is submissive; in effect, asking you to stop touching him by appeasing you. In this case, stop touching him unless he asks you for tickles again.  

dog lying on its back

Where do dogs like to be touched?

You may find that your dog loves to be touched or tickled. Lucky you! Although all dogs are different, there are some general rules to how and where dogs prefer to be touched. Most dogs prefer gentle stroking, scratching, or tickling. Generally, dogs don’t enjoy being patted (especially not on their heads!) or slapped. Keep away from a dog’s genital area – this is a sensitive part of the body that your dog will want to protect, just like humans. Also, rather don’t touch a dog’s face, legs, tail, or feet.

Dogs generally prefer to be stroked or tickled under their chin, or on their chest. Some dogs enjoy being touched on their belly or on the lower back near the base of the tail. As always, this will change based on your dog’s preferences. And, always keep your touch gentle and soft. Have a look at the graphic below from Adam Ellis. It can give you an idea of where your dog likes to be touched. 

where to touch a dog

Hugging dogs or not?

If a dog is frightened of something, his first option is to run away. If a dog is picked up or held, his ability to move away or leave is greatly restricted, as is his ability to act on his built-in instincts to escape when threatened. This can cause the dog great stress and makes it clear why some dogs don’t like to be cuddled or hugged. So, no, we shouldn’t really be hugging dogs. 

In the end, like with many preferences, whether a dog likes to be touched is totally dependent on the dog. The biggest rule is to pay attention to your dog’s body language and behaviour when he is touched. This will give you a clue as to whether he is enjoying it or not. Also, take note of the context of when and where your dog is being touched. Rather don’t touch your dog if he is eating, if there is food nearby, if he has a toy, or if he is already feeling nervous or uncomfortable. Rather don’t touch or hold your dog unless you are one hundred percent sure he is happy you do.

Most humans love hugging and touching. Physical contact, especially with people you love, releases lovely, feel-good hormones like oxytocin and endorphins into your blood, leaving you feeling happy and relaxed. Gentle touch also activates the parasympathetic nervous system, which relaxes your body. This is why hugging a loved one is such a great feeling. However, it may not always (or ever!) be a great feeling for your pup, so keep that in mind next time you feel the urge to hug your best bud. Only hug your dog on his terms, not yours. Rather hug someone you know will love it. And think of other great, safe, dog-friendly ways to make sure your pup knows you love him!

hugging a dog on a mountain

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